You're such a fucking whore.
I've just got off a call with you in regards to work. How you ever plan to work for anyone I do not know.
You're abrasive, arrogant, insulting, demeaning, egocentric.
You believe you're entitled to the best of everything simply for being you, and you throw tantrums when you don't get it.
Fuck you. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
Because I love this about you. I love that you're THIS arrogant, this insulting.
I don't know why I do.....God, you're all over the fucking show - and I love it to bits.
To get you back I'd have to work at it, and work at it HARD. I can't simply be nice. lol. I actually have no idea how to get you back.
And because of that, no one else is anywhere near as interesting.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
I honestly thought I was getting over you. Yeah, I can't sleep some nights and I have to stop myself thinking about you else I'll start crying. But I expected that.
What I didn't expect was to find everyone else BORING AS HELL. you're such a little firework, it's hilarious.
Sometimes I wind you up just to see you explode. I also know I'm the only one that can calm you down - if you'd let me. which you won't.
So FUCK YOU. I love you, and it's all your fucking fault.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
letter 3 January 1st 2012 20:30
Happy New Year....again :)
It was a good time out last night....though in truth I really missed you. I like dancing with you, enjoying myself with you. With other people, I find their conversations to be so boring, I don't want to spend time talking, and then it gets awkward, but with you, the silences are mutual and the talk is always interesting - And the dancing is always exciting :P
I missed not doing it much last year. I don't quite know why we stopped...too tired I think, and when we weren't drinking we didn't seem to have much fun. I don't know. I do miss it though.
I think this year should (for me) be about challenging my comfort zones. People are always saying you should push out of your comfort zone, but I think that's a load of crap - sometimes, your comfort zones appear because that's where you work best. But I do think it's a good idea to check those boundary layers-sometimes you're in that space because you're too scared of what's beyond it. So that's what I'm going to do this year. Do the things I've always said "one day" about (as far as I can). Actually try and talk to girls in clubs. Make my company work. Meet up with a group of mountain bikers and go riding regularly. Do more ice skating. start ball room dancing. get in touch with more mathematicians.
Why am I telling you all this in a letter that I'm classifying as a love letter? Well...I think it's something you need to do to, to challenge yourself, to become the best person you are. I could tell you that as your friend, but I think you'll take it the same way you take most things I tell you :). So all I can do is hope, that by the time you've read this letter, you will have challenged yourself, you will be becoming the best you can be, you will finally be happy with you are.
That is the one thing I'm going to try and subtly (I'm not very good at subtle things) to help you with, becoming happy with who you are...I really hope that you do.
xxx
It was a good time out last night....though in truth I really missed you. I like dancing with you, enjoying myself with you. With other people, I find their conversations to be so boring, I don't want to spend time talking, and then it gets awkward, but with you, the silences are mutual and the talk is always interesting - And the dancing is always exciting :P
I missed not doing it much last year. I don't quite know why we stopped...too tired I think, and when we weren't drinking we didn't seem to have much fun. I don't know. I do miss it though.
I think this year should (for me) be about challenging my comfort zones. People are always saying you should push out of your comfort zone, but I think that's a load of crap - sometimes, your comfort zones appear because that's where you work best. But I do think it's a good idea to check those boundary layers-sometimes you're in that space because you're too scared of what's beyond it. So that's what I'm going to do this year. Do the things I've always said "one day" about (as far as I can). Actually try and talk to girls in clubs. Make my company work. Meet up with a group of mountain bikers and go riding regularly. Do more ice skating. start ball room dancing. get in touch with more mathematicians.
Why am I telling you all this in a letter that I'm classifying as a love letter? Well...I think it's something you need to do to, to challenge yourself, to become the best person you are. I could tell you that as your friend, but I think you'll take it the same way you take most things I tell you :). So all I can do is hope, that by the time you've read this letter, you will have challenged yourself, you will be becoming the best you can be, you will finally be happy with you are.
That is the one thing I'm going to try and subtly (I'm not very good at subtle things) to help you with, becoming happy with who you are...I really hope that you do.
xxx
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